Different

I know I am still very early in this process but I have to say it is going well. I am learning a lot about myself. Learning what works for me and realizing what doesn't.  There is something about this time around that seems different or maybe it is me who is different. I am seeing that it's not about deprivation. I eat when I am hungry. I eat what tastes good I just don't eat three helpings of it. I love to cook and am researching recipes and finding ways to tweak them to make them healthy. I quit drinking soda. I was only drinking diet but since I have stopped I don't crave sweets like I used to. Small, seemingly unnoticable changes that in a short amount of time have made a big different. I am not saying that the urge to eat badly has left. I would still do obscence things from some Taco John's Potato Oles but I know that if I avoid such tempations all together I am not put in a postion to make bad choices.

Weekends are going to be my most difficult times. It's not so bad when I am out and about but  I think I need to munch if I am sitting in front of the TV. I'm not even hungry, just bored.  Instead of doing what I would have normally done, I went out to the farm to harrass my parents. Changing my environment helped. It got my mind off the fact that I thought I needed to eat. Besides, for those of you who know my parents know that it's guaranteed to be entertaining. By the way, I don't know what I would do without those two crazies. They support me, they make me laugh, they love me even when I am least deserving, and they call me out on my bullshit, which we all know I need every so often.

 I have also realized that I will have to find a hobby. One would think that after 26 years I would find some sort of interest. Besides being awesome (kidding), I have no real hobbies. I dabble here and there in various things but nothing has ever stuck...Anyways, I'm open for any suggestions but please keep in mind that my patience is about as long as my attention span, just saying.

I began my morning with a walk. There is a profound serenity that comes with being up and going before the rest of the world.  It goes without saying that I have never been a huge fan of excercising but the more I do the more I look forward to it. There is a certain amount of clarity that comes with it; it doesn't matter what's going on at work, what's going on at home, all that matters is that for that hour there is only me, my Ipod, and the road.

Last night I had the pleasure of witnessing a 104 year-old take her first trip in a hot air balloon. This was an item on her bucket list. I was brought to tears being able to see the joy and excitement in her eyes as she took off on an adventure that she had always dreamed of yet probably never imagined she would get to do. Watching all of this happen, it cemented in my mind that I am doing the best thing for myself by getting healthier. At 104, that beautiful woman still had dreams and aspirations.   It really never is too late. I have so much I want to see and want to do. I want to get my doctorate. I want to write a book(s). I want to travel around the world.  I want to teach at a university. I want to be able to afford to build my dad the shop he has always wanted and my mom the addition she has always dreamed of. I want to fall in love and have babies. I want to see Jenny have babies. I want to watch my friends' babies, whom I love as my own, grow up and see the extraordinary things they will do with their lives.  If  I don't get my act together I will not get to see these things happen.......