Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Give Me One Reason

Why is it so hard to make the right choices? I try to be completely open about all of my struggles with my weight. Every day is a battle. That  battle will be lifelong. I go weeks where I am right on track and then I fall clean off of the wagon and go right back to old habits. It just seems to snowball. Then I have to re-evaluate why I needed the change in the first place. I know all the risks I am facing by not losing the extra pounds. I know what I have to lose. I know.

 I went to my first weight loss support group meeting tonight. I have been thinking about going for the few weeks. I guess the hardest part was walking through the door. Maybe it's because I had to admit to myself that I can't do it alone which is never an easy thing to do.

Some will disagree, but I truly believe that food can be just as much of an addiction as drugs and alcohol. I don't know what it's like to struggle with a chemical dependency but damn I could write volumes on emotional dependence. How do you overcome something that is essential to living? You can quit drugs. You can quit alcohol. You have to eat.

What the leader of the group had to say tonight were the exact words that I needed to hear. She told us that there are so many reasons to not choose a healthy lifestyle but all you need is one reason to succeed. So, which reason am I gonna choose? If you are struggling, which reason are you gonna choose?  I can't count on both my hands and feet my reasons.  It all comes down MY choices and MINE alone. It's important to be reminded of this. I will always struggle with this. I know this. I don't like it but I know it. And struggle I will but in the end I know I will overcome it.

On to more exciting news.....slowly but surely, I have reached my 50 pound mark! Actually, I reached it several weeks ago but ever since I have  been fluctuating back and forth but  now I am finally back to 50 lost.  Each pound representative of lot tears, lots of laughter, even more tantrums, endless support from my family and friends, and something else I can't quite put my finger on......maybe it's strength....I'm leaning more towards hope.