Monday, August 26, 2013

Clean(er) Eating

I have spent the last two weeks focusing on eating cleaner. Avoiding processed foods. Focusing on lower carb. Sticking mostly to leaner meats, vegetables, and fruit. I have done bunches of research on the Paleo Approach to eating. Seriously, if you ever want to scare the heck outta yourself look into what preservatives do to your body. Perhaps, do a bit of research on Margarine or low-fat butter spray.....YEEEEEEEEEEE............The basis of my version of clean(er) eating/living is similar to Paleo except I eat cheese and Ranch and I still drink the occasional beer. Not because they provide any major health benefits but more so because I LOVE them! Changing my lifestyle has been about living better in the hopes of impoving my health and essentially extending my life. I have decided I have no interest in living in a world where I can't have some damn Ranch dressing. Chose your battles, I guess.

 I am slowly learning to like fruits. Okay, that was kinda a lie. My favorite fruit is and always will be Jello with salt on it but I have been forcing myself to try a different variety of fruits. My most recent  snack has been frozen Lemon Drop Melon. Not too shabby! I have to get pretty creative not only with what I eat, but with how. I have a huge texture aversion. If it's anywhere near a mushy consistency, I cannot handle it. Stick a traditionally mushy (ish) fruit in the freezer, Viola, I don't have to gag on it. Sounds like a win/win situation, if you ask me.

Tonight I tried cauliflower "rice" for the first time. I took a half of head of cauliflower and ran it through the food processor. I sauteed it in some butter with Worchestersire Sauce and fresh garlic. I had it with a pork chop and some greens (WITH RANCH AND CHEESE...BOOM) and a couple slices of tomato. Pretty darn tasty!

I am continuing with Boot Camp workouts three times a week. I really  love boot camp because it is always something different. If there are things that I cannot do, the trainer modifies them so I still get all the benefits of the excercise. The hardest part is the act of getting there. Once I am there, I am fine but I fight with myself all day over what I want to do versus what I should do.  I have also been trying to mix in some walking and jogging throughout the week, as well. Basically, it's just an excuse for my to jam out on my Ipod. I tell you what, I can rock Chicago's "Inspiration" like nobody's business. I can also thug out to T.I. like I was raised in the really is exhausting being this awesome. :)

Stay tuned......More of my nonsense coming soon..................

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

How Do You Measure A Year?

Oh, all the changes a year can bring!

 I started this journey to get healthy exactly one year ago today.

A year ago, I sat right where I am at now, scared out of my mind. I knew I needed to make some changes. Some big changes.  Ultimately, I had two choices. Change the way I was living or die. Simple enough, I guess. When I started this all I thought my fear was of dying. I think in retrospect, the true fear that I harbored was in actually letting myself live.

I am not the same person who sat in front of this computer a mere 365 days ago.  Time changes us all. I remember the very first blog entry. I cried the entire time I wrote it. Hell, every blog I write, I still cry. It's cathartic. I'm probably gonna cry at some point before this one is finished. Putting myself out there for the world to see my weaknesses has been monumental for me. I have a pesky little habit of letting my pride get the best of me and God forbid someone see me at a weak moment, in my mind that is just unacceptable; but I knew that if I was going to succeed at this, I had to be able to let others see my vulnerabilities. In the last year I have learned that sometimes the only way to exude strength is to be strong enough to show my weaknesses

When I started this journey I set a goal. I wanted to be down 100 pounds today. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I reached all my goals. That I lost 100 pounds. That my life was perfect. That losing the weight made EVERYTHING better, but alas, I would would be lying. Regretfully, I have not lost 100 pounds. I have lost 60 pounds and have maintained that loss over the summer.

I have a ways to go. It is slow moving but I will get there. One step at a time. Realizing today that I fell short of the goal I set a year ago is just the motivation I need to get my ass back on track. It's bad enough to feel like I let everyone else down but it pisses me off to no end that I let myself down. Here's to a new push to continue to get healthy. So beginning Monday, I am back on track...hold me to it, friends.

Truth is, losing weight is only a small equation in this process. This process is about learning to love myself enough to live healthier. There will always be times where I fall short,  where I return to old habits. The important part is to start each day with a clean slate. I have also learned that  I have to love myself at every size. If don't love myself fat I sure as hell won't love myself thin. I will still be the same person just in a slightly smaller package. My body isn't ideal but it's the only one I've got so I have to treat it right.

 Confession time: I still hate to exercise. Absolutely hate it. Some things never change. I do a fitness boot camp three days a week.  It's a mixture of core exercises as well as cardio.  I die a little inside on cardio day. Every day I can think of a million reasons not to go but I know that it needs to be done. I know I could easily fall back into my inactive life so I have to push on.

And in this year I have learned to really live. For so long, I was merely existing. Now, I do what I feel. I surround myself by people who make me happy and I distance myself from those who don't. I have learned that if I don't want people to expect me to change, I had better not ask them to do so either. That if I don't want people to judge me, I better not judge them. Some lessons this year have been easier than others but as promised this ride has been every thing I expected it to be. It's been beautiful and it's been messy.  I've had some of my happiest moments and  I have experienced some of my saddest. I have faced my demons. I have made new friends and I have lost old ones. I am thankful for all of my family and friends who have loved me through all of this, especially on the days that I wasn't strong enough to love myself

...and for this entire journey, I am becoming a little bit better every day.

P.S. One year later and I would still do unspeakably obscene things for Taco John's Potato Oles.