Thursday, January 17, 2013

It's been awhile.......

Losing weight.

A simple enough statement. How hard could it possibly be? I began this journey roughly 5 months ago. I figured that once I got down the "basics" of living a healthy lifestyle that the rest would be a breeze........Riiiiiiight, about that........

Five months later, I continue to struggle. I struggle with what I should eat compared to what I want to eat. I struggle with excercising daily. I struggle with my emotions. I struggle with who I am. I am learning that I have to give myself some room to breathe. If I want to have a king size Reese for supper and nothing else, it's okay, as long as I don't make that a staple in my diet. It's okay if I don't excercise every day as long as I don't allow myself to become sedentary again. It's okay, Laura, it's okay.

The stuggle with myself is another story. I have been in this huge funk lately. I feel like I have my life all lined up- I have a house, a good job, a Master's Degree, an awesome family, the greatest friends, and yet I feel like I am just sitting back waiting for it all to start. It's hard to put in to words, but it's like I'm watching from the audience. Here's hoping that one of these days everything just clicks.

Yesterday, I weighed in. I have finally lost all of my holiday weight. Nothing pisses you off more than having to lose the same ten pounds that you just finished losing

 The grand total is 40 pounds.

Forty pounds, such a romantic notion in theory, however, any female that has ever lost weight knows that the areas that we want to shrink never do and the areas that we wish would stay the same are the first to go. That being said, at this rate, I should be rocking a 32AA in no time flat. The hard-core, militant feminist in me says, "THAT'S JUST FINE!" the hypocrite in me screams, "IMPLANTS!"

The battle will be long and in the end it's only with myself.

A year from now I hope to start a post similair to this opening; only it will read:

Lost Weight.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

No Looking Back Now.....

What a year 2012 was! A whirlwind, to say the least. A year that was mostly good, a tad-bit bad, sprinkled with a dash of crazy....just to keep things legit.  I think I have learned more about myself this year, than any before.

I learned that I was living a lifestyle that was digging me an early grave one double cheeseburger at a time. I learned that living healthy looks much easier than it actually is. I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. That asking for help is not a sign of weakness. That I am much more of a whiner than I even knew. I feel bad for my workout partners because I complain the whole time I am exercising without exceptions. Seriously, THE WHOLE TIME! Hell, I start complaining about an hour prior to even starting to exercise.

Most importantly, I learned that I am the luckiest girl alive because from the moment I realized that I needed to change I have had nothing but unconditional love and support from my friends and family. That support inspires me on days that I have trouble finding the motivation.

I have to admit, the holidays have not been good for me. Mistakenly, I gave myself permission to lose focus the last few weeks.  I haven't exercised and basically reverted back to my pre-August eating habits....Big mistake...Big.... HUGE! :)  Live and learn, I guess. I know now how easily one bad meal, leads to two, leads to a complete loss of control. A snowball effect, if you will.

Today started a New Year. I am not going to wallow in the fact that I back pedaled. I am going to move forward. Start fresh. That's what this is all about. It's not realistic to be good all of the time but it is a definite reality for me that I have to keep on trucking down the right road.

This year there is not going to be any hindsight-should have, could have, and would have's. I am through with that mentality. I am going to continue living healthy. No resolutions that I give up on in a month. No resolutions at all.....just health, plain and simple.

This year I am going to run my first 5k and pending my survival of that, hopefully the first of many. No looking back....I've got a good feeling, kids.