Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Fancy Meeting You Here....

It's been awhile since my last post. Continuing to take things day-by-day which seems to be the only thing that any of us can do. I wish I could sit here and baffle you with tales of how I am cured. That wouldn't you know it, if given the choice (with no repercussions, of course) I would always choose the celery over the french fries without even batting an eyelash. I wish I could tell you that this is not one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Don't get me wrong, I thank my lucky stars every single day because it could always be worse, however this life change has proved to be a worthy adversary. However, on a brighter note, for those of you who know me well know that someone just has to tell me one time that I won't be able to do someone and by golly, I'm gonna do it. Although, I can honestly say it is getting easier................sometimes.......

This week will be the ultimate test. I have been at a conference all week and didn't bring any of my Nutrisystem meals, for two reasons. 1) Who wants to be the nerd at conference who brings a sack lunch, I would get eaten alive in the health care world (as if my severe awkwardness wouldn't be cause enough)?  2) I know that Nutrisystem is not going to be my long-term eating plan. Eventually, I will have to make healthy choices on my own. For the most part, this week has been a success, with the exception of this evening..........

Confession Time:

I went to Cheddar's tonight with the girls from work and Savannah. I had every intention of ordering a very nice salad- no cheese, dressing on the side. Driving over there I was just sure that I was some kind of Weight-Loss Ghandi. So noble, so diplomatic........apparently so full of it. It was as if I had full-blown Tourette's when the waiter approached. I had this rehearsed in my head. Salad-no cheese, dressing on the side. Salad-no cheese, dressing on the side (in your head sing this to the tune of We Are The Champions). Finally it was my turn, remember I had this all planned out, I go to say, "salad-no cheese, dressing on the side" but instead I blurt out,  " Give me the tenders and shrimp," before my brain had time to comprehend what had clearly word-vomited out of my mouth. After I did realize what I did,  I in no way, shape, or form attempted to retract that order, I went with it....and felt extremely guilty. I did remind myself of something, though, I can't deprive myself or I will make          hair-brained decisions on a whim. I can also gladly say that even though the tenders were fried, (and on a side note, abso-frickin-lutely delicious) the shrimp was not, and my side was green beans. So, essential the only damage done was with the chicken tenders. I have to allow my body the things it craves. If I avoid everything I will eventually break and possibly open myself up to go straight back to old binge habits. Moderation, friends, moderation. In the end, it all evens out.

Today one of my sessions was about dealing with conflicts and difficult people. It was geared towards the professional world, but some of the insight rang very true to my personal life. The speaker discussed how our society thinks that anger can only result in negative reactions but in all actuality, anger ultimately sets the stage for change, be it positive or negative. I think back to four short weeks ago, finding out about the damage I was doing to my body by being so unhealthy, quite frankly pissed me off, but the only person I had to be mad at was myself. I made those bad choices. I decided to not exercise. It was my choice and my choice alone. I was mad at myself for letting my health get so out of hand and I was mad at the universe for being born with the metabolism of a yak. Now, I am grateful for that anger. Anger pushed me to make changes. Anger opened the door for acceptance. I know what I need to do and know that I am gonna do it, come hell or high water.

The speaker also discussed how our society accepts mediocre as the "gold standard". Now, I know what those of you who went to high school with me are thinking, "Laura Whitesel, may have started this mediocracy standard" and not long ago I would have been in total agreement with you. It is true, though. We accept mediocre in many aspects-customer service, job performance, etc. For many, many years, I accepted mediocre in regards to my health....thank heavens for the wake-up call. Who knows how long mediocre would have gotten me by.......


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