Oh, No!

It seems that it has been quite some time since I have posted and there is a perfectly logical explanation for that......I have not been doing very well with this process and I am a chicken-shit. I don't want to disappoint anyone, namely, myself. So, instead of facing the facts, I avoided this blog. Simply, acted as if it didn't exist. Avoidance....I basically invented the concept in relation to health.  If I didn't admit I was struggling then maybe it wasn't true...

Wrong.

So, here it is........I AM STRUGGLING!!!


Not just a little bump in the road, either. Like full-on train wreck, struggling. I am struggling in a way I have never struggled before. It's like passion I had back in August when I started this journey is gone. I have lost focus. I am not eating the things I should. I am not excercising the way I should (like not at all). It started small. Sneaking a dish of ice cream at work. Skipping one night of working out, then two, and then well, would you look at that, I haven't worked out in a good two weeks. I know I have gained some of the weight back I had lost, because I can feel it. I can't tell you an exact number because I have hid the scale....Avoidance.

So there it is. Everything is out on the table. Right now, I am struggling but that does not mean I have failed. I may have stumbled but I promise you, this time I will not fall.

I could sit here and tell you that it's because I am stressed out. I could sit here and tell you it's because, essentially, my life is changing in a drastic way and I feel like I'm losing control. I could sit here and tell you that it's too hard, that I'm not strong enough to win this battle....but I'm not going to.

What I am going to do is sit here and tell you that I am going to get my shit together. I am going to hold myself accountable. Such a new concept for me. I am going to do what I know I can. I'm strong and capable and will not let these last few weeks define my journey.

They say the truth will set you free, here's hoping "they" are right...........

Tomorrow is a new day.