Change

This blog is a chronicle of my new journey. A journey that I want to share with others. A journey that I realize will be happy and sad and ugly and beautiful-all mixed into pages and pages of my rambling....The only thing you need to ask yourself is, "Are you ready for this?"

 I am your typical 26 year-old. I am a social worker in a long-term care facility. I just finished up my Master's Degree in Gerontology. I have the greatest (craziest) family and friends anyone could ask for. Laughing is pretty high up on my priority list. I speak sarcasm fluently. I have a knack for singing the wrong words in every song and I can quote any Will Ferrell movie (be jealous). I am also harboring a long kept secret. I AM FAT! Okay, okay, it is not a secret. You just have to to have me in your line of vision to realize that I am 'Large and In Charge'. 

All my life I have had problems with my weight. If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard, "Laura, you have such a pretty face, if you would just lose a little weight...." I would have enough for Gastric Bypass, a hot-ass trainer, and some sort of brain surgery to destroy the part of my brain that makes me feel hungry. Name a diet, I have probably tried it...and probably cheated at it...and probably failed at it. This time, though, the stakes are a little higher.

The relationship that I have with food and my body is a love-hate one, at best.  I LOVE to eat. I HATE being overweight. I am even in this constant state of denial in which I  refuse to refer to myself using the "F" word. Call me anything, just don't call me fat.....Call it what you want: big girl, fluffy, hefty, plus size,  solid....regardless of the terminology that I have sugar-coated it with, the only fitting word for what I have let myself become is unhealthy.

I received news today, after a series of tests, that carrying around this extra weight has taken a toll on my heart. This news was quite shocking to me, as I thought my last boyfriend took my heart with him when he left years ago, but alas, apparently it's still there, just not in tip-top shape.

The news that changed my life, came at 9:29 this morning. My doctor's office called with the test results. After a complete and total melt-down and a heart-to-heart with a great friend and my parents, I have decided that the time has come-a complete and total lifestyle change is in store. I am going to stumble, trip, power walk, and eventually run (even if it kills me) down this new path. I am going to completely makeover my diet. I am going to (gasp) incorporate excercise into each and every day, and by God I am going to do it while continuing to be fabulous.....stay tuned ,friends, stay tuned.